Confessions, St. Augustine

I'm reading Augustine of Hippo's Confessions, because I think it would be good for me. I have read it once before, summarily. I believe (I could be mistaken) that Augustine is considered rational by philosophers, and that his Confessions is an intellectual piece of conversion literature. I am reading it slowly, because I want to really process the somewhat dense text.

Book 1

You can imagine my surprise when the first chapter begins: "Man is one of your creatures, Lord, and his instinct is to praise you."

I think a non-believer would find that difficult to relate to and presumptuous. Even I think it's quite an assumption. Augustine doesn't explain why he believes man will instinctively praise and glorify God, and will never be happy unless they worship him. Instead, he wonders if it is necessary to know God to pray to him, or if through prayer we come to know him. Yes, the methodology should be discussed, although I think it's fine either way. What surprised me was that Augustine really does accept the basic truth of Christianity from the outset and does not question it, but is seeking guidance to be a better follower, and thus to truly turn to God.

Yet as I read on, perhaps spurred by growing up in Catholic doctrine, perhaps by the events of the past few days when I wanted to openly thank God for a few good tidings in my life, I found myself agreeing with him that yes, those who find God will praise him. But if Augustine's intention is to explain and convert, I don't see how these assertions answer the purpose.

Then Augustine says that, throughout his childhood (even from infancy), he was a sinner: vain, disobedient, non-studious, given to overindulging in his own dreams and emotions. In fact, he thinks that a baby's cry is sinful, because should an adult cry for food he would be regarded as abnormal. That seems like an illogical comparison: he even acknowledges it is the norm for babies to cry and adults not to. He also claims that just as people know reading and writing is more valuable than daydreams, obedience to God is better than indulging in fantasy. Says who that literacy is worth more than imagination? Finally, he asserts throughout that his attachment to worldly things makes him sin and distances him from God. I have always struggled with this doctrine. For instance, in one section he claims that studiousness is good, in the next that his pride in his intellect is bad. Okay, I get that his intelligent makes him arrogant and unkind, but you can't blame that on worldly attachment in one chapter, and say that dreams (not academic intelligence) was worldly attachment in the last. I think Augustine is advocating some things here: humility, and restraint, two things that are not easily found in a world that values humility and self-indulgence. Well, I like the world and I find many things in it intellectually stimulating. I'd like to win my way into it. And like Augustine, I've grown up Catholic so I feel guilty about my wanton lust for everything luxury (success, romance, intellect) in life. But I can't see how it's wrong to seek success in this world that God created. This is the gap I can't leap: that it is better to be humble and content, I hate the thought of being mediocre and complacent and I'm not sure my faith can make me happy about forfeiting ambition. I know Augustine has equal trouble renouncing his self-destructive ways, so I'll see what he thinks, but I still can't see why he can so easily accept it's a sin.